The Evening Dust
by Ruby-Wednesday
Summary: Edward finds a silent girl at the edge of a dusty road. AU. A FGB fic for averysubtlegift
1. Chapter 1

**The Evening Dust – AU. Edward finds a silent girl at the edge of a dusty road. A FGB fic.  
**

**For averysubtle gift, who so kindly donated and patiently waited for this. There's three chapters in total. I'll post them daily. Please forgive any typos, mistakes and geographical inaccuracies.  
**

When I left Forks it had seemed like the road flew away beneath my tires. The smooth asphalt was wet from fallen rain and the wheels had sloshed through puddles as I sped past lush forests and grey buildings. The further south I had driven, the more the landscape had changed. By time I reached the dusty highways of Arizona, I felt like I was chugging along in a tractor rather than the sleek Mercedes I had borrowed for the trip. The car was a necessity of course, Carlisle's vehicle had tinted black windows and mine did not. Also, and I would never concede this to his face, the SLK was also much faster than my Volvo.

It was almost pleasurable to cruise along the open road in the powerful car with hot sun warming my arm through the window, to have the stereo turned down low and only the occasional stray thought from another motorist or highway patrolman to encroach on my thoughts. If the circumstances had been different, I would have possibly enjoyed the peace and solitude of the Arizona back roads. I didn't risk taking the highways for fear I would be forced to stop. There was nowhere to pull in and hide on those long stretches of concrete. This way was better. Alice wouldn't be able to get a solid read on my direction and I had found some wildlife not far from a rest stop in California where the heat seemed to give the animal blood a certain kick that was missing further North. I tried to focus on this small sense of satisfaction and not the fact that I had hunted to gain strength in case this came to a fight.

When those nomads had turned up in Forks, rudely interrupting a rousing game of baseball I , none of us had anticipated the trouble they would cause. I had cared only for the lost game. Carlisle had worried about the possibility of their presence affecting the security of our position in the community. Esme had worried about their bare feet tracking mud into the house. Not even Alice foresaw what would happen when the leader, James, had revealed his 'special interest' in her.

James was a sly creature, even for a vampire. He hid his thoughts well, pretending to be far more interested in the novelty of our way of life than anything else. The memories of Alice had come in trickles so brief it took me a while to put the pieces together. He had known her from before, possessed knowledge of her human life that no-one else had. To anyone who knew Alice this was precious information indeed. But to James the Tracker, she was simply the one who got away. It made the redhead jealous. It got on the bored one's nerves and he headed north to meet up with the Denali clan. James toyed with Alice for a little bit, a cat to a mouse, feeding information in dribs and drabs until finally Jasper had been about to crack. He couldn't handle the predatory vibes coming off James, couldn't deal with the sadistic pleasure he took in his power over Alice. The nomads were wary of him, his scars had that affect on other vampires and we were all worried that things would get violent. It wasn't our nature.

In the end, it was Rosalie who not-so-politely told them to leave. She had tired of James' games and Victoria's presence and of the two of them screwing with her sister. There were times when Rosalie's tenacity was welcome and this was one of them. The rest of us had been trying to blend into human society for so long; we'd forgotten how to be harsh when necessary. This was a quality Rosalie would never lose; it was part of her armour and she very swiftly ensured their departure.

I thought it would end there. I thought Alice would be satisfied with the information we had gained (James had been mean with the truth and I had to glean some of the murkier aspects of her past from his twisted brain) and we all thought we would get our sister back. But Alice continued to obsess about her human life, wondering and researching and mourning for what she never had. The knowledge cut her harder than we would have imagined. Days turned into weeks and her pre-occupation hadn't let up. It became deeper and darker, overtaking the lightness she was ordinarily filled with. She couldn't move past it, and decided to go to her birthplace to find out more.

The decision hurt Jasper. Alice knew travelling South was not an option for him. He supported her as best he could, but we could all feel the pain, including Alice. The thoughts of her travelling alone, to the South where the vampires were wild and vicious worried us all. Alice was capable but she was so _tiny, _plus she's ours. She didn't want companionship - _this is something I need to for myself, _she had told me when I offered, - but her desire could not alleviate my worry. I had seen the darkest recesses of the trackers mind and did not believe he was finished with her yet. And there was always the fear that the further she dug, the deeper the hurt. But she went anyway, bringing a yellow suitcase and too many shoes.

Two weeks passed and she had not returned. I was the one who was sent to retrieve her. Alice insisted she did not need anyone to come; she was fine on her own. I didn't think she could be safe in the volatile South with those nomads on her heels. Jasper had received word from some former friends that Victoria and James had been asking about her, they weren't done yet. She must have seen it, but made no mention of it on any of her phone calls. I took the scenic route, anxious to avoid her visions or running into any undesirables. The road I currently travelled was just outside Phoenix and I'd just filled up the tank with gas at an anonymous gas station, buying some snacks to avoid suspicion. I'd had the car washed too but already the black paint was coated in a reddish brown layer of dust again. I figured a city this size would be a good place to stop and freshen up. My clothes were a little soiled from my hunt; I could feel the desert sand cling to my skin and if the nomads had any interest in my whereabouts they would not venture into a city like this. They would stand out like a sore thumb.

After Phoenix, I would stop only for gas until I reached Biloxi. It wasn't good for her to be there, hanging around her own grave. The thought saddened me, and I picked up the phone to call her.

"Edward," Alice answered on the first ring. "That cherry slushee is going to melt all over Carlisle's upholstery soon. What were you thinking, buying things like that in the heat?"

"Thanks for the info," I replied dryly, knowing she would see me rooting for napkins to put under the cup. I couldn't find it in me to throw it out the window. I was a vampire, but never a litterbug. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, dear brother, as you should know. There's no need for this unnecessary trip you're taking. Think of all those CO2 emissions you're needlessly letting into the atmosphere."

"We don't need to breathe, Alice. The O-Zone layer isn't my top priority right now. Besides, wouldn't you rather a chauffeur and escort back home, then getting a stinking Greyhound bus with a bunch of humans. I'm sure wildlife isn't much down in Missouri." I was doing my very best to keep things light.

"I'm not ready to come home yet," she said in small voice.

"Alice, it's not good for you to be down there, watching in windows and hanging around graveyards. It'll drive you crazy."

Her laugh was laced with bitterness. "I'm already crazy, haven't you heard?"

"Things were different then. You know this. You heard what Carlisle told you about medical beliefs back then. You were never crazy, it was just the human manifestation of your gift," I reasoned.

"What if my _gift _is the vampire manifestation of my madness?" she retorted.

How could I answer that?

"Regardless, it's not safe. Those nomads are still too interested in you. It's not healthy."

"I'll see them coming," she replied.

"You didn't see them coming in Forks. You didn't see any of this."

"I'm watching more carefully now," she said. "I found someone Edward, a living breathing relative. I have a niece! Her name is Cynthia and she lives in a retirement community with a cat named Skippy. She watches the same daytime TV shows as Esme and she uses this old-fashioned lavender scent, like the one Rosalie uses to keep her clothes fresh. I didn't say anything because I didn't know how to. But if you found this, if you found part of your history, would you be able to walk away?"

Honestly, I knew my answer would be no, so I tried another tactic. "Rosalie, Esme and Emmett all have living relatives that we know of. They've managed to walk away."

"They _have memories_, Edward. I have nothing. But you'll be able to look inside her mind and tell me stuff. She'll know my parents and my sister and -"

"It doesn't work like that Alice," I interrupted. "Look just wait until I get there and we can sort all this out."

"I'm not going home until I'm ready Edward. I have to go; I need to call Jazz before my battery dies."

Alice hung up and I tossed the phone onto the passenger seat in frustration. That girl could try my patience like no other. I took a moment to listen for other traffic - pedestrians, patrol cars - and hearing nothing, I floored the accelerator. Even as the day drifted into evening, the heat down South was oppressive. The air inside the car was dry and stale, but when I opened the window my lungs and nostrils ended up filled with chalky dust. There were houses here, they popped up sporadically along the road, surrounded by rusty chain link fences and tired dogs lounging under the meagre shade offered by a porch or a spindly tree. Everything was dry and had a transient quality, as if liable to float away on the light breeze at any second.

I glanced at that damn iced drink and saw drop of artificially red liquid drip from the plastic holder and onto the carpeting. Cursing to myself (and admittedly enjoying the luxury of knowing there was no-one around to offend) I dabbed at the spillage with a rough paper towel. Then, something on my peripheral vision caught my attention - a niggling smell, a quickened heartbeat, the reflection of a headlight on shiny hair. There was a girl, young judging by her size, staring after the car with her hand slightly extended. I though it strange that her thoughts didn't alert me to her presence. I looked at her in the side view mirror and had trouble reading her expression.

I turned a bend and she was out of sight and, also, out of mind. My worries drifted back to Alice and I formulated plans and stories for meeting any other vampires. To the best of my knowledge, there were no know settled covens in this city and I wouldn't be overstepping onto anyone else's territory. I planned to avoid Texas, taking a more awkward route to rule out any chance of meeting any of Jasper's old acquaintances. News travelled fast down here and smells lingered in the heat. It was better to be safe than sorry.

My phone buzzed and I answered it without looking at the screen. I figured it was Jasper, since I'd promised (and forgotten) to call him once I'd spoken to Alice. But to my surprise, it was Alice whose voice I heard on the other end.

"Edward!" she practically shouted down the phone. "Wait! Stop!"

Instinctively, I slowed down but I didn't stop. "Jesus, Alice. What's wrong?"

"I changed my mind. I'm going home. I'm going straight to the bus station now."

"Did something happen?" I asked, knowing she didn't make this decision based on my advice.

"No. I just changed my mind. You were right. Jasper is right. He's going to meet me halfway, get a bus too or maybe a plane I'm not sure. He doesn't like enclosed spaces. You can turn around now Edward. I don't need you to go any further."

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong? Is James there? Did you make a mistake?" I pressed, utterly confused.

"I'm fine. Call Jasper and he'll tell you. Just turn around and I'll see you at home."

The phone clicked off. I drifted another few feet in the car, feeling frustrated and a little peeved. Talk about a waste of a journey. All those finite resources wasted on a needless trip. Because I didn't know what else to do, I spun the car into a U-Turn, the tires kicking sprays of dust out behind me, and went back the way I came. The Merc nicked a cactus on the side of the road and destroyed one of its arms. I couldn't bring myself to care. I was fuming; really, because damnit I do my best for my family and still they didn't need me. Back around the bend, past another sand coloured dog with droopy ears, revved the accelerator because it feels good when you're angry.

Then, I slammed on the breaks!

There was that same girl from before, in the middle of the road this time, frozen and about to be hit by my car.

I floored the break, heard the strain of the engine and tires screeched. But there was no way the car could decrease from such speed so quickly.

No way. I had spent too long abstaining from killing humans to let one die due to careless driving. No way in hell was I about to let that happen.

Instinct took over. I pulled the keys from the ignition, opened the car door, angled myself over it and out of the car. I landed in front of bumper just in time to stop it with myself, using my weight to stop it gliding forward, hooking one hand on under the hood to stop it spinning out of control. It stopped as soon as I made contact, the back tires spun out sideways before it stilled completely.

There was a moment of total silence. The car was quiet. The road was empty. I allowed my breath out, my shoulders to relax and turned to the girl whose life I'd almost taken.

Somewhere down the road, one of those ancient dogs let out a whiny bark.

And that was the only sound I heard, bar the dust on the wind and the hammering of the human's heart.

I presumed she was unconscious. So when I looked at the slight figure sprawled on her hands and knees, and saw a pair of wide brown eyes blinking up at me, I was shocked to say the least. My mind - my capable vampire mind - searched to find the right platitude to make to the girl, and found nothing.

"What the heck happened?" she said, in voice that was loud but not shouting.

"I could ask you the same thing," I replied, indignant. "What were you doing in the middle of the road?"

"I was _crossing _the road, to get the other side. You know, like a chicken? You're the one driving like a madman in your fancy car," she accused.

"I didn't see you. I apologise."

"Of course you didn't see me at that speed," she huffed.

Speed did nothing to hamper my senses. Running through the forest, I could see every pattern in the moss and every indentation in the tree. The reason I did not see the girl (apart from my annoyance over Alice's phone-call) was because I did not hear her.

Her mind was silent to me.

How perplexing.

The sun was drooping low over the barren horizon but even so, I stayed crouched in the shade of the car. There was still a slight chance a stray ray would reflect on my skin, and I could not let this insignificant girl see the effects of that. I'd already taken one too many risks with her this evening. But surely my actions to stop the car had been too fast for human sight and minds to process.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, still intent on distracting her from any suspicion there was anything untoward about me. "Can you move your limbs? Wait, don't move your neck. Your back could be injured. What about nausea? Dizziness? Pain? Are you bleeding?" I knew she wasn't bleeding, the scent would have hit me immediately, but still I asked.

"I'm fine." She rolled her dull brown eyes and shook her head, completely ignoring my instructions. "I'm just a little shocked. I can't believe you stopped the car in time, and got here right in from of me..."

"Shock can affect our perception of things," I told her. "I'm sure you've heard people say 'time stood still or sped up or went into slow motion' during traumatic events. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three." Then to herself, she muttered. "I oughta hold another finger up at you after you nearly killed me."

Since I clearly was not meant to have heard that, I ignored her insult and figured it was safe to stand up. The sun had all but disappeared below the horizon. As an afterthought, I offered her my hand but she was already scrambling to her feet unaided. This was my first opportunity to really look at my almost-victim. She was older than I first thought, probably the age I appeared to be. Her brown hair hung in a thick braid down her back, the dark colour stood out against her white skin and loose tendrils stuck to the damp, sweaty flesh on the shoulder. Her complexion was pale, unusually so for this part of the country, but there were telltale red blotches on her cheeks and chest indicating that she was embarrassed or at least, worked up. Well, near death experiences would do that to humans.

Her lips were full and there was an unusual depth in her brown eyes. There was the pink spot of an almost healed pimple on her jaw line and patches of oil on her nose and forehead. She wore simple clothes - denim cut-off shorts, white cotton top (the pattern was eyelet, showing tiny peeks of pale skin beneath, and there was faded ketchup stain by the hem) and a pair of white canvas running shoes with dirty laces. They revealed her slender limbs, dusty from the road and mottled with fading blue and green bruises. How colourful these humans are, unlike my own perpetual paleness she was alive with colour. Her clothes were a lot more suitable than the weather than mine, and I wondered if she thought about that. Her expression was still slightly dazed, presumably from the shock, so I couldn't quite tell what she was feeling. And of course, I still was without the extra knowledge reading thoughts gave me. How unusual it was, to rely on the old-fashioned ways of reading people.

I had assessed all this and concluded that she was quite pretty for a human, by the time she had stood up. Then she kicked a stone and looked at the ground, she flexed her feel, wiped her hands off her and did not look at me at all. Preparing to speak, reminding myself to go slowly, I breathed in a gust of dry air.

The girl's aroma, her lifeblood and her humanity, flooded my senses and stunned me.

She smelled _good. _

Better than good. Better than lions and deer and any number of killers and rapists I had tasted along the way.

Venom pooled and instincts stirred because I wanted _her. _I wanted this unlucky little girl who'd stumbled onto my path.

Then she looked at me, her heart still thumping and her eyes wary beneath shadowy lashes. And I knew in that instant that I could not have her.

"Where were you rushing off to?" she asked, her eyes narrowed. "Is there a matter of life or death you need to attend to?"

I shook my head. "I'm just going home..."

"Bella," she supplied.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." I smiled at her, that winning way that made teachers in Forks High forget about my frequent absences. "I am sorry it's not under better circumstances. I'm Edward, by the way."

This was the part where another human would offer their hand. But this Bella just looked at the ground and then peered up and down the road.

"Do you live nearby?" I continued. "Perhaps I can offer you a ride home?"

It really would be best to conclude this matter as quickly as possible.

"I live the other way," she said. "You were driving out of town. I live back that way."

"What were you doing walking in the wrong direction?" The question has left my lips before I had a chance to stop myself. Of course, it was none of my business but I was just so unaccustomed to not knowing the thoughts of my companions that I had to ask.

Bella did not look comfortable with my question. She kicked a random pebble on the ground.

"Um...I was just out walking and I didn't realise how far I had come. I was, um, crossing the road because I thought maybe I might hitch a ride back home," she muttered.

"Don't you know how dangerous that is?"

"Like you're one to talk about putting people in danger," she retorted.

If only she knew how right she was.

"It's getting dark," I said. "I think it would be a good idea for you to let me drive you home, for your own safety and for my peace of mind."

"It's not dark yet," Bella replied, walking towards the car. "It's dusk. The sky is so pretty at this time. You can see the stars and the clouds streak it navy and azure. It feels so safe, there's nothing harsh, nothing scary..."

I wanted to tell her how much I agreed with her as I glanced up at the twilit sky. But what would be the point in that? Instead, I just opened the passenger door and trudged over to my own.

Bella was settling into her seat, looking around and clicking closed her seatbelt when I started the engine. She looked at me in this admiring way, presumably because she was impressed with the car. This silent situation she had was very frustrating. The road was empty, so I swung the car into yet another u-turn, and headed back the direction I came.

"Wow. This is a really fancy car." She looked around appreciatively.

"Thanks."

"Did you steal it?"

"No,I did _not_ steal it." I was unable to hide the indignation in my voice. "It belongs to my father, actually."

"Sorry," Bella mumbled, sounding anything but. "It's just...you seem kinda young to have a car this nice. I mean, they are a few kids at my school with really expensive looking cars but you were driving so fast and the plates are out of state and you've got these bags in the back. Sometimes I talk without thinking."

"It's fine." I insisted, secretly pleased with the idea of her talking before thinking it over. If that was her way, or if like Emmett her thoughts matched her words, then her silent mind would be a lot easier to put up with. Not that it would matter for much longer.

I could feel heat radiating from her body, and Bella flicked at her cheeks the way girls wipe away tears, so I turned up the air-conditioning to what would helpfully be a more acceptable level for a human. She smiled, so grateful for such a small gesture, and looked at the melting cherry drink in the cup holder with unbridled longing.

One of us should be able to quench our thirst

"Are you thirsty?" I asked. "You can have that drink if you wish."

Bella's hand shot out, fast for a human, to grab it but then she hesitated.

"Are you sure you don't want it?"

"Positive." I glanced at her and grinned. "It's not really my flavour."

She looked a tad confused as she raised the straw to her pouty lips but thankfully, my phone rang before there was time for her to question me. I raised it to my ear, making a show of looking around and slowing down before I did. It was time for me to play up the human charade after the near disaster with the car. It was only when I answered, that I remembered I should have said something to the girl. Where _were _my manners?

"Jasper," I said by way of greeting.

"Edward, what _did _you do?" Jasper replied. I couldn't quite make out the tone of his voice. Bella's slurping noises were distracting me. But he couldn't know about her...

"What do you mean?" I was very aware of Bella's attempts to ignore my phone call and the fact that in this little space, of course she would hear it all.

"Alice, man. What did you do get her to come home? Because I owe you a massive thank you, whatever it was. I'm on my way to the airport now and I'm gonna meet her halfway. Maybe take a trip or something."

I could hear the elation in Jasper's voice and I was truly happy that he and Alice had come to some reconciliation. But my mind was more concerned with ensuring Bella didn't pick up anything strange about the conversation. Risks and all that.

"I didn't do anything," I told him. "She just called out of the blue, and plum changed her mind. She's adamant nothing happened there but I've no idea what spurred the turn around."

"Edward, why are you talking so slow? I can hear the car engine."

"Habit."

"Right." He sounded sceptical. "So listen, I'm real grateful that you went down there like that...when I couldn't-"

"Jasper." I cut him off, unwilling to cause him more frustration over his weaknesses. "I know you are. I felt it before I left. You don't need to tell me."

"That's where you're wrong. I do need to tell you. It means a lot to me, and to Alice, even though she probably won't show it."

"That's what family do, isn't it? I know she'd come after me if need be." I wanted to change the subject, all too aware of Bella's listening ears. "So have you any plans for when you meet her? Do you think she'll be ready to come back to school?"

"Oh, that's the other reason I called you. Is it okay if I take the Volvo? If I drive to meet Alice, we'll have more freedom. I'd like to take her somewhere and I hate being dependent on human transportation."

"Sure, as long as Carlisle doesn't mind using another car. Or you can take the Vanquish if you want," I replied. Bella glanced sharply at the mention of _another_ car but looked away when I caught her eye, concentrating furiously on a loose thread on her shorts instead.

"Seriously?" Jasper's voice was full of disbelief. "You don't mind. That thing is like your baby."

I laughed. "Just a possession is all. Besides, it's faster and the windows are...more suitable for our needs."

"Great. So I'm thinking if I take the I50 east and then head south at the state line I'd get the best mileage. Or maybe cut through..." Jasper continued to speak, planning and tabulating as was his nature. It was his way of coping with the stress over Alice. And I did listen to him; honestly, one section of my brain was listening and processing his words.

And a more dominant part was focused entirely on the girl called Bella.

She was sipping the vibrant cherry drink quietly, not slurping like some humans would. The tendons in her throat flexed as she sucked down the liquid. I heard the ice rattle against plastic and the drink slide down her oesophagus. Her eyes were almost closed, lashes shadowed on her creamy skin. A single drop escaped the side of her mouth, flowing down along her chin and the column of her throat disappearing under the fabric of her top. She half-heartedly wiped it away, stretching cotton in the process and hinting and something beneath.

In that moment something awakened inside me, some long dormant feeling stirred and I had to look away from everything the girl represented. I wanted more than her blood in that instant. I wanted more than I had ever wanted before.

I was also frightfully glad that Jasper couldn't taste my emotions over the telephone.

"...that seems like the best route, do you agree?" Jasper's question pulled me to my senses.

"I think so," I replied. "You can always change if you need to."

"Right. Right. What about you? What way are you heading back? Are you going to make another pit-stop in Vegas?"

"I haven't decided yet," I answered vaguely. "Shouldn't you get going? You'll want to fill up the tank before the gas station closes."

"Right. Thanks again, Edward. I'm sure Alice will call you soon and tell you the same."

The phone clicked off before I could answer him. Bella was looking at me unexpectedly when I tossed the phone onto the centre console.

"Sorry," she said and I couldn't fathom why. Eavesdropping? Existing? Spilling slushee on my leather upholstery? These were the questions usually revealed to me through thoughts.

"What for?"

"For finishing your drink," she clarified. "I didn't realise how thirsty I was until I started drinking. I'll buy you a new one."

"It's fine," I interrupted.

"You're not thirsty?" Her eyebrows pulled together.

"No," I answered simply, unable to stop a smirk. "How long were you out walking for?" Surely humans couldn't stay out that long without needing water to rehydrate themselves. Yet this girl, Bella, had nothing in her possession.

"A while," she replied. "I'm not sure how long. I didn't really plan this."

"Oh."

"I just wanted some time to think you know? Alone."

"I understand." My answer was completely honest. "I go running sometimes when I want to get away from it all."

"Are you running now?" Bella asked, her eyes fixed on the side of my face.

"No."

"I just couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Is everything okay?" she asked. I was almost touched by her concern, to think of a human caring about a vampire's well being. Then I realised this girl may be looking for a kindred spirit. She was the one running here.

I decided to tell her a version of the truth to put her at ease. "My sister is having some difficulties. She found out some things she was having trouble adjusting to, and I was on my way to try talk to her about it."

"Was?"

"She changed her mind, decided to go home on her own."

"She ran away?"

"Not exactly," I said. "Alice went to try tracing her roots. She's adopted, we all are, and she was taking too long to come home." I glanced at Bella, sharing what I hoped was a comforting smile. The key was to conceal my teeth. "What had you out walking all alone?"

It was obvious Bella had a lot on her mind, and since I had nothing better to do I decided to listen.

"I just needed to get out of the house. My mom and Phil were fighting and I couldn't take it any more. They argue a lot when he's home and it sucks because Mom misses him so much when he's not there. She mopes around but when he comes home things get weird." Bella's eyes met mine and she seemed to realise her story needed some context to make sense."Phil is a minor league baseball player so he travels a lot. My mom wants to go with him, but she can't because I'm there so it causes some tension."

"How old are you, Bella?"

She began to pick at that damn loose thread again. "Seventeen. I'm a junior, so Mom thinks she just has to put up with this for one more year. Once I'm off to college she can go wherever she wants."

"That doesn't seem very fair," I commented. "To put all that pressure onto your shoulders."

"I've been looking after my mother my whole life." Bella's smile was full of sadness and the emotion seemed to transfer over onto me. "Besides, haven't you heard? Life isn't fair."

"I believe I have heard that somewhere," I replied. "For what it's worth, I understand why you walked out today. I live with three couples and while I love them dearly, listening to the ups and downs of their relationship is far from pleasant."

"And I thought I had it bad." She shook her head and I was pleased to have achieved some common ground with her.

"Won't they be wondering where you are?" I was about to offer to let her use my phone.

"Nah. After the fighting comes the make-up sex. They won't miss me, and really it's mutually beneficial for me to be absent."

This time I laughed a little and shook my head. "I know what that's like too."

It was the loneliest feeling in the world.

During the course of our conversation, Bella had pulled her knees up to her chest leaving dusty footprints on the seat. I could still feel the heat of her body emanating towards me in the most enticing way, but her exposed skin had turned to gooseflesh.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

"A little." She hugged her arms around her. "It can get pretty cold once the sun goes down."

"There's a bag on the backseat," I told her. "There's a sweatshirt at the top you can wear if you want."

Bella turned to look for the bag, stretching to reach it so the seatbelt imprinted red lines into her skin. Blindly, I reached back to get it for her and our hands brushed. I did not feel sparks when we touched, but rather her touch sparked something inside me. Her touch caused a lump in my throat and tugging somewhere in my chest or perhaps my gut. Bella awakened something in me and she was completely unaware. In fact, she recoiled clearly shocked by the icy temperature of my skin.

"Sorry," she muttered. I wordlessly handed her the bag.

She pulled the grey sweatshirt from the top of the tote, disturbing the wallet placed underneath. My instinct was to catch and hide it but it was too late. It had landed open on her lap. Bella picked it up, squinting in curiosity.

"Your name is Edward Knuckle?""

My regret for not concealing that better was immense. The driver's license actually read Edward Nuccel, a joke of a name Jasper had come up with when he took over the maintenance of our family's identification. There are only so many times and variations of the name Edward Cullen and I disliked using Masen.

"Ah,no," I admitted. "That's a false ID. My name is actually Edward Cullen."

"Cullen..."Bella repeated."Edward Cullen. I like that."

"Thanks." How odd it felt, to take credit for a name I had no part in choosing.

Bella was still holding the wallet in her hands, fingers caressing the soft black leather. "You don't look twenty two." Her voice was careful.

"I'm not," I replied, evenly. "That part is false too. What age do you think I look?"

"My age."

"And what age is that?"

"Seventeen."

I turned my head to give her a genuine smile. "Bingo."

"We're the same age." For some reason this statement seemed to please her. Bella then went to slip the wallet back into the bag and I heard her gasp. " Oh! That's a lot of cash to carry around with you.

I kept my voice as even as possibly, aware that the cogs in her mind were turning and spitting out the wrong answer. I didn't stop to think that believing the lie was better than knowing the truth. "I stopped in Vegas on the way down."

"You must have gotten lucky," she commented, fumbling in her attempt to re-close the bag.

"It's not about luck," I replied. "It's about knowing to play the game."

"Aren't you worried someone might steal it?" Of all the questions for Bella to ask...

"As if they could get past me." I gave her a sly smile, and that answer seemed to satisfy her. Bella finished zipping the bag and carefully returned it to the backseat. The sweatshirt was bunched in her arms and she pulled it over her head. It was far too big for her and the colour did little to flatter her pallid complexion.

I liked it on her. A lot.

Bella straightened the hood and brought the too-long sleeves to her face. I heard the intake of breath and a small sigh. Humans always did like our scent. It invited them into our hunting ground.

Her face flamed when she saw me looking and she rolled up the sleeves.

"God, I'm a mess," she grumbled to her reflection. Granted, putting on the top had sent her hair into a state of disarray. The messy braid had become completely wild with a large clump sticking up from the back of her head. It resembled something akin to a haystack but I didn't feel an ounce of dislike for it. My enhanced senses were definitely coming in handy for this trip. I could easily observe the girl and drive with due care.

Bella pulled the elastic from her braid, shaking it loose around her shoulders. It wasn't as dull as I'd initially thought. It was quite shiny actually, with rich red and brown tones running through the waves. At her movements, her mouthwatering scent wafted all around me sweet and terribly inviting. My mind raced...how would she smell in the rain, when the breeze blew.

She toyed with the elastic, spinning it around two fingers as if she didn't know what to do with it. I waited for her to put it somewhere logical, in her denim pocket or on the wrist that was swamped by my sweatshirt. Instead, she looked around and slipped it onto the gear stick.

"I'm from Washington ,too, you know," Bella stated, out of the blue.

"How do you know I'm from Washington?" I hadn't told her.

"Your license plates, dumbass. And the drivers license. Unless they're all fake too and this is another thing that seems different to the truth..."

As Bella babbled on, I marvelled at her insult. Did this slip of a thing, really call a vampire a _dumbass? _Her flippancy confirmed that she held no suspicions about the way I stopped the car.

"I live in Washington at the moment," I confirmed. "But I've moved around a lot. What part do you come from?"

"I was born in a teeny tiny town, but my mom took me and ran when I was only a baby. I haven't spent much time there, apart from two weeks with my dad every summer."

"What's the town called?" I asked. Weren't these the type of humdrum conversations humans thrived on? They revelled in finding common ground and could boast about their roots without fear or shame.

"I doubt you've heard of it. It's barely a dot on the map."

"Try me," I pushed, with a hopefully charming smile. "I know the area pretty well."

"Forks," Bella answered, as if it was something to be embarrassed about.

I could not mask the surprise on my face.

"Are you _really _from Forks?"

"Yeah. S'where I was born." Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you look so surprised?"

By way of reply, I took my 'genuine' drivers license from its place in the sun visor and handed it to her. Her mouth fell open as she read my address.

"Get out of town!" Bella exclaimed and mock-slapped my arm. The contact made her wince and I hoped beyond hope that she had put little enough force behind it to avoid injury.

"I already did," I replied, relieved that her wrist seemed fine.

"We're practically neighbours! You must know my dad, Charlie Swan."

"The chief? I think everyone knows him." I smiled easily while I dredged up all my memories of the man. It was our duty to ensure I knew enough about the town's law enforcement but other than that, I knew very little about him. He seemed quiet and reserved. I had never heard him think about a daughter. In fact, I had never heard him think much at all. I looked at Bella and compared the image of Charlie Swan in my mind and saw a few similarities. The eyes for one; and the serious expression.

"Did he ever bust you for anything?" Bella asked.

To my knowledge, the only thing he busted was the seam of his trousers but that wasn't a detail I felt Bella would appreciate. "I'm a model citizen."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"You have a suspicious nature?" I guessed. "Do you visit often? I know I haven't seen you around." I would have remembered her of course, her scent if nothing else.

"Maybe you didn't notice me."

"I never forget a face."

"I haven't been in a couple years," Bella admitted. "The town is so...oppressive. Plus, the world's most awkward teenage girl visiting the home of the world's most awkward father? Not a pleasant combination. We've vacationed in California instead. It helped me feel less...disloyal to my mother."

I doubted Bella's mother felt any loyalty when she disrupted her life with this new husband. Again, I knew it was not the right reply.

"Forks isn't so bad," I replied.

"Maybe I'll see it differently now in future."

"Are you thinking of visiting again?" That was not part of the plan. I'd never intended on seeing her again. But the idea did not bother me.

"Maybe I'll give my mom some space..." Bella pulled her knees to her chest again, stretching the sweatshirt down to her feel. This was the picture of a girl with a very unhappy home-life. "It'd be weird to get used to rain and log buildings and all that _green." _She turned her gaze out the window.

I tried to see her home as she did - the tall buildings and the dusty air and the bright splashes here and there. We were well within the city limits now, and I had to work harder to ignore the swell of thoughts and heartbeats that surrounded us.

"Bella," I said as gently as could be. "You'll need to give me directions to your house." I did not want to take her home, but I could not keep her with me.

Oh!" She blushed rose-pink again. "We kinda already passed the turn for my neighbourhood."

We were in the city proper now and these were not the type of roads I could double back on. I was already dreading the long trip home.

"You can just drop me anywhere," she mumbled.

"You agreed to let me bring you home." It wasn't safe to let a young girl out in the city, unaccompanied and vulnerable. I knew the kinds of minds that lurked there.

"I'm not ready to go home yet." She sighed. "But I don't want to keep you any longer. I'm sure you have things to do."

I hesitated. Bella didn't know that I had all the time in the world and nothing to do but to pass it. It would make no odds to my family if I didn't rush straight home. They wouldn't miss me, not really. What was a little more time with this girl compared to hours alone on the road? When was the last time someone had caught my attention like this?

I lived my life to a schedule, because that was thing that separated us from the others of our kind. The structure made us a family. Being a family made us better. We went to school and we worked. I hunted at certain times. I played piano at certain times. I waited to watch the morning news instead of sourcing it myself throughout the night. I did everything I was supposed to do and after all these years of existing I was_ bored. _

Where was the harm in seeking some amusement?

Was there anything wrong with wanting to live?

Humans were told to seize day. Live every moment as it was your last. They were here for a good time not for a long time.

None of that applied to me. I could seize neither night nor day, but simply hold on by my fingertips in the hopes I wouldn't fall off.

Behind us, someone blew their car horn. Their irritated thoughts really should have alerted me beforehand.

"Edward?" Bella prodded, her face softened by expectance.

"I'm not ready to go home yet either," I stated, and accelerated deeper into the city.

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

There was some kind of acceptance in my decision to drive on; something that made Bella sink back into the seat and allowed my shoulders to relax. We didn't speak for quite a few minutes. Bella twisted a lock of hair between her thumb and index finger. She gazed out the window but I figured she wasn't actually looking at anything. I drummed my fingers ever so gently on the steering wheel, humming a wordless tune under my breath. The sound of her breaths and the rhythm of her heart bounced off the leather and glass interior of the car. The repetition was almost soothing, the guarantee that exhale would follow inhale, beat would follow beat.

Vague impressions of sounds and thoughts and voices registered in the back of mind, but I did not concentrate and so they faded away as quickly as they came. I wondered what Bella was thinking but part of me also enjoyed her silence. To be in presence of another being, but to not have to listen to the innermost workings of their psyche was something of a relief. I smiled at the back of her head, knowing she would see the reflection in the window. That shared look, the companionship warmed some cold part of me.

This must have been what peace felt like.

I couldn't have known; I'd never experienced it before.

Late evening traffic was heavy downtown. We crawled through busy streets - past florists, cafés, DVD stores and a 24 hour gym. These were the streets familiar to Bella. She must have had walked them before, perhaps touched a petal on a flower arrangement or ordered some complicated coffee drink in one of the many shops. This was her home and I was just merely and outsider.

The car was paused at a crosswalk, when the shrill excited voices of some teenagers on the pavement. It didn't matter what accent or language they had, or even what era it was, young people , they all shared the same high-pitched tone that would make the most patient man wince. They were dressed in some provocative notion of formalwear - the girls showed skin and the boys wore running shoes with dress pants – adorned with dying flowers to hammer home that this was a 'special' night.

I glanced at Bella, wondering if this was the kind of night she enjoyed and found her ducking down in her seat. She flushed, and my throat burned, when she realised I was looking.

"They go to my school!" she hissed. "I don't want them to see me."

The note of panic in her voice stopped me from finding amusement in her distress.

"Bella," I said. "The windows are tinted. No-one can see in."

"Oh," she said in a small voice. I smiled at her in an attempt to alleviate her obvious embarrassment but this only seemed to exacerbate her blush. How strange. Most people responded well to that kind of thing.

"Is that Senior Prom?" I asked, trying to fill the conversation gap. Perhaps there was boy she liked, who didn't like her back. Perhaps she had hopes of being invited. These thoughts set a twinge of sadness in my chest that I couldn't quite fathom. No-one likes to be alone.

"Junior," she answered glumly.

"How come you're not attending?" In my vast experience, prom was the highlight of the year for most high school girls. Hell, even Alice and Rose got excited for it occasionally. "Did no-one ask you? Plenty of people go alone, you know."

"Jesus, Edward you sound like my father," she snapped and I was chagrined " I. Don't. Dance. Prom is not my thing."

"Why were you hiding then?" At the risk of sounding conceited, I knew that plenty of teenage girls would love to be seen driving in a fancy car with me or any of my brothers. They couldn't resist our appeal.

"I uh, I just panicked I guess," Bella said, wringing her hands on her lap. "I spend a lot of time trying to go unnoticed by the popular kids. It's a force of habit."

"I know what you mean." I tried to get back on common ground.

Bella raised on sceptical eyebrow in response. "Yeah right," she scoffed. "Like _you _blend in anywhere. Did you go to your prom?"

I wanted to question the emphasis on you, but focused on answering her question. Or rather evading it. I had been to more proms over the years than I cared to remember, usually escorting Alice when Jasper could not. "Our prom isn't on until May."

"And will you be attending?"

"It's highly doubtful."

"Why not? Have you two left feet as well?" Bella teased.

I found myself speaking freely, without any conscious decision to do so. It was just easier to answer questions when no thoughts accompanied them.

"I assure you that my dancing skills are beyond reproach," I told her. "But prom is most definitely not my thing either."

"Don't tell me you can't get a date," she grumbled.

"There's no-one in Forks I would want to bring on a date," I told her honestly. Her face brightened inexplicably. "The entire institution is over-rated anyway, trust me."

"I do," she replied, and looked back down at her hands. Her fingers were short, I noticed, with a purplish scar that was most likely a burn on her pinkie finger.

I didn't know what response to make. I considered telling her I wasn't to be trusted; I'd just as soon drain her dry. But I was the one who'd asked, even over something far more frivolous than the serious tone her voice implied. What was the point in disagreeing? I'd already vowed never to see her again after tonight.

I let the moment pass in a silence disturbed only by the quick pace of her heart. She'd look pretty in a formal dress, I mused, something with buttons. I discarded the thought as soon as it popped into my head, but the image it created was infinitely more persistent.

I sighed in frustration. I spent too much time inside my head. If I was only going to take one night of freedom and spontaneity then I reasoned I should create some memories. Seize the day. Live in the now etc etc. I manoeuvred the car into the first available parking space.

"Let's go," I said, leaning close to her retrieve my wallet. Her scent reminded me of a spring garden.

"Go where?" she asked, fumbling with her seatbelt.

"Wherever the night takes us." I grinned and had opened her car door before Bella had her hand on the latch.

"Oh!" she gasped in shock but there was no trace of fear as I assisted her from the car. I intended to take her by the elbow, but she misjudged and moved awkwardly. My hand slipped to Bella's wrist, with the warm pulsing temptation at my fingertips. By rights, I should have been focused on the blood flowing under my touch.

Instead I marvelled at how soft her skin felt.

We meandered down the street, shoulders almost touching but not quite. This was a new situation for me, walking like this. Had it been one of sisters or Esme with me, I would have thought nothing of taking their arm. But this was different. I thought of strolling couples, the ones you saw on the sidewalk with linked palms and no awareness of the world around them. What would it be like to experience that?

Since Bella was the native, I let her guide our path. "Is there anything in particular you would like to do?" I asked.

"Nope." She smiled and continued walking, constantly sending me backwards glances that she didn't realise I would catch. There was a definite spring in her step.

Her aroma was less potent in the fresh air; less concentrated. It was easier to concentrate on the world around me and I made note of the unfamiliar architecture and the slow twang in the way passers-by spoke.

A low but distinct rumble from Bella's stomach pulled me from my internal musings. I didn't know how long she'd been out walking before I happened upon her.

"Hungry?" I asked. Her features pulled together in confusion.

"A little."

"Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Not yet." Bella had to step closer to me to let someone get by on the path. The energy of her body so close to mine was shocking. "I just want to walk a bit."

"Fine by me."

We walked on.

Bella still wore my sweater and I was glad to have given it to her. There was a chill in the night air, and it wouldn't do for her to be cold. The hem hung at about the same level as her shorts, the fabric grazed her thighs as she walked and she had to push up the sleeves.

Not only did it look surprisingly well on her, the mingling of my scent with her own lessened the blaze in my throat. It was more tolerable when diluted.

We passed some terracotta toned pottery store and Bella launched into a shy anecdote about a class she had taken with her mother. She was sure of her story, but unsure of the words she was using to tell it. The contrast was quite sad. The tale did not equate with the picture she had earlier painted of her mother, but it's easy to forget how much people can change.

I was happy to listen to the tempo of her voice and the unsure ripples of her laughter.

"You have fun with your mother," I observed.

"She was my best friend."

_Was?_

I don't know why that surprised me. After all, Carlisle was my best friend until he found Esme.

There was a tug on my sleeve, and Bella pointed across the street. The instant I look, I _heard._

The vigour of mariachi music. The whirl of Spanish chatter. Laughter and children playing. The smell of spicy human food, the woody beer and the pungent tequila.

"It's some kind of street festival," Bella said, her voice a note higher than before.

"Do you want to go and look?"

"Can we?" Her eyes were wide with excitement.

"Sure." I shrugged in agreement. Immediately, Bella rushed to cross the street. Without thinking, I grabbed her arm to stop her running into traffic. I made little effort to modify my strength and I felt her flesh yield under the grip of my hands. She halted at once, and I pulled my hand away and shoved it in my pocket.

I berated myself for my persistent lapses in judgement and that anger was evident in my voice.

"Have got some sort of death wish?" I huffed.

Bella's hand flew to the spot on her arm that I'd grabbed; her fingers rubbed it lightly. I hadn't heard any bones crack – a positive sign to say the least - but there was always the danger of bruising and I willed her not to roll up the sleeve of the sweater to check. Again, I wondered what she was thinking. Was she confused by my bizarre behaviour? Frightened? Her facial expression revealed little more than discomfiture with a tinge of anger.

"I wasn't thinking," Bella answered.

"Clearly," I muttered too low for her to hear, but her features sharpened in a way that told me maybe she had.

"You can stop looking at me like I killed your puppy now." Bella rolled her eyes. "No harm, no foul. Besides, I would only have hurt myself."

Of course, she could not understand that was what bothered me. What was the point in me going to such lengths to ensure her safety, if she was going to ruin all that with reckless behaviour?

Protecting her was the _right _thing to do. However, a very wrong part of me was desperate to drag her into the nearest alley and let that blood flow. My family would never have to know...

"Edward?" Bella's warm touch pulled me out of my reverie. Her fingers were a slight pressure on my bicep that sent shockwaves all through me. I jolted alert.

"Sorry." I shook my head to rid it of those dark fantasies and flashed a closed mouth smile. No need to disturb her out further by exposing my teeth. "Let's go."

Confident that the road was clear, I placed my hand lightly on the small of Bella's back to guide her along. Purely for safety purposes of course, it was nothing to with how comfortable it felt there.

We stepped into the side-street and it was like entering a different world. In an instant, I assessed the cacophony of lively voices switching seamlessly between Spanish and English, the joyful children, the cheery music and the paper lanterns that cast an otherworldly glow on ordinary steel shutters and fire escapes.

Alice would love something like this. I wondered had she seen it. Surely she would have called if she wasn't too pre-occupied with her own troubles. But I had left my phone in the car, and besides I was grateful for this rare moment of privacy.

I took to watching Bella's reaction – the way her mouth gapped to show harmless teeth and the wide set of her eyes – as she took it all in. She was definitely entranced.

It took me a nanosecond to take it all in – the stalls and the food and the games and the music. It took Bella decidedly longer to absorb it all. Her wide-eyed expression was quite entertaining, and like the rest if the evening it was interesting and frustrating to not have her thoughts as a guide.

"Wow." She raised her voice over the din of the crowd, unaware that I could hear the quietest whisper. "It's like some kind of festival or something."

"A fundraiser for the local church," I supplied, nodding at a banner hanging over the stalls and dropping a few bills into a collection bucket.

We took a few synced steps forward, closer than before because of the crowd. It was only natural for me to place my hand on the small of her back as a guide, and the red heat scorched into my bones.

Bella zeroed in on the food stalls. She must have been starving. Humans need to eat regularly and she had most certainly missed dinner.

"Hungry?" I asked.

"A little." She nodded, and seemed a little embarrassed at the admission. How strange, that she would feel bad for such a basic need.

I wasn't sure what she would want from the selection of foods, so I let her lead the way over to the food stalls. The meat and carbohydrate selections looked similar to what was served in the school cafeteria but the colours were brighter and the spices smelled more pungent. She agonised over her decision – her eyes darting back and forth between her choices.

"What are you getting?" she asked.

"Nothing." I was simply not in the humour for any more pretences, and that included pretending to eat a meal.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Nothing? Aren't you hungry?"

I shook my head. "I'm on a special diet. This food is too rich for me." A knowing pat to my abdomen finished off the statement. One thing I had learned was that humans rarely asked too many questions relating to digestion issues.

While Bella ordered her food, I busied myself with getting some drinks. I got two lemonades in clear plastic cups, figuring I could spill mine or give it to her if that hot food made her thirsty. I glanced at her, and saw her forehead creased and her hands patting of pockets. I was angry at myself for putting her in that situation, and immediately slipped the vendor the cash for her meal. I should have remembered she had no money but these things were so rarely an issue for me. I was not used to these kinds of outings.

Bella was fussing with garnishes and sauces. I got the impression she was took her Mexican cuisine very seriously as she joked with the seller about chilli peppers. Apparently Bella liked things hot, a fact that was vaguely stimulating for a reason I did not want to dwell on.

There were a few tatty picnic tables for people to sit and eat at, but all were occupied. A dour-faced looking woman sat at one – her thoughts ranged between bitter and resentful at being dragged to the festivities. Figuring Bella would want somewhere to sit, I decided to get us a table. I stood a fraction too close to the surly old woman and her body stiffened at my presence. Humans were wired to be instinctually afraid of us predators. When she looked in my direction, I gave her a grin that could only be described as sly. She shrank away and I took the table. Victory was too easy sometimes.

"Wow!" Bella commented. "How did you manage to snag a table so quick?"

"I guess it's just my lucky night." I smiled at her –careful to conceal my teeth—and passed her the lemonade. She concentrated very hard on her food then, and I wasn't sure why. Watching Bella eat was far more interesting than I would have imagined. The children at school tended to wolf down their processed meals in the most disgusting fashion. In contrast, Bella took small neat bites and her mouth plumped delightfully as she chewed. She let out a tiny moan at the taste of something, and that noise was very interesting indeed.

Yes, she was quite pleasant company. She didn't even comment on my lack of eating, and uttered quiet thanks when I swapped my full lemonade cue for her almost-empty one.

And while she was beside me, I could focus on her alone and it made it so much easier to block out the noise. The silence of her mind was an empty space for my thoughts to dwell and it enveloped me, pushing away the rest.

"I like this music," Bella said, nodding towards the small band with wrinkled hands and lined eyes playing Latin American music. "My mom used to play the Mambo and twirl around the kitchen when she went through her ballroom dance phase. She would try get me to be her partner but there wasn't enough space in the little room to swing a cat, let alone for two people to dance."

There was an unmistakable tinge of sadness in her tone, and I hated that. I decided to keep things as light as I could.

"Did you take to a more classical approach to dancing?" I asked. It had to be preferable to the flailing about that passed for dancing these days. In an instant, the very inviting idea of dancing with Bella flashed in front of me. ...my hands on her waist, twirling her around to make her laugh...

"God, no," she answered with a resolute shudder, effectively busting my bubble. "I told you I have two left feet. I'm honestly the world's suckiest dancer."

"You couldn't be _that _bad." Her tumble on the road notwithstanding, she seemed quite elegant to me.

"Oh, I am. " She looked at me through narrowed eyes. "I suppose it comes naturally to you."

"I learned to dance a long time ago," I told her. "And I learned that it was all in the leading."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you probably didn't have the right partner before."

Bella's heartbeat quickened. "The best partner in the world couldn't make up for how lame I am."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"I'm sure it is." She looked away from me and I realised it was not best to push her. "Look at that lady dance," she said, changing the subject. I followed her gaze to the creaky makeshift dance floor where a stout woman with grey hair was dancing with the kind of passion you have to witness to believe.

"She's very talented, "I observed, not bothering to mention the steps she missed.

"She must be what, sixty? Seventy? Can you imagine getting to that age and being so full of life?"

"No," I answered truthfully. "Can you?"

"I don't think I'll ever be that...effervescent. My mom always jokes that I was born middle aged and I get older every year. She says I'm stuck in this young body but I'm actually really old."

I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. "I've been told something similar myself."

"Why does that not surprise me," she muttered.

We watched the people dance a while longer – the click of heels, the sweat on their foreheads and the circles of their warm human bodies. I could do better of course; I'd often had with my Esme, Alice, Rose, even Kate and Irina. I'd taken the technique and the skill we possessed for granted and tried to make the most of the knowledge of my supposed superiority.

But I'd never thought about the effort and the passion. The synchronicity of the beats of someone's heart to the taps of their feet. The triumph in the eyes at a well executed step. The drive to work through the pain and exhaustion.

There was a beauty in this very human display that I could never match.

It was something of a relief when the tired musicians took a break and the children's games began.

There was musical chairs and pass the parcel and a boisterous game of pin the tail on the donkey. The innocence of it was all was delightful.

"What was your favourite game as a child?" I asked.

Bella took a long moment to think about it. "I didn't like group games much," she said. "But I always liked fingerpainting. How about you?"

"I don't really remember."

Next came the scavenger hunt and I took a break from observing Bella chew her straw to check in on the game. It must have been my vampire instincts rising to the surface. It took me a moment to peek into the organisers thoughts and see the main clue was hidden beneath a nearby table. I noticed a small child, maybe 5 or 6 it was hard to tell sometimes, alone at the edge of the games.

"Hey kid," I called, catching his attention. I had gathered his name was Jorge, but I'd long since learned that knowing the name of strange children was a sure-fire way of getting unwanted attention. Bella watched us closely. "Are you playing?"

He nodded, but his eyes were wary. I switched to Spanish in an attempt to make him more comfortable. His thoughts were all in that language. "I think you should look under the tables."

I could tell he didn't trust my help. Really, his jumbled thoughts indicated he didn't trust any men but his desire to succeed at the game got the better of him and he hastily checked under all the tables.

"You speak Spanish really well," Bella said.

"One of my many talents," I joked, biting back the sarcastic reply that was my first response. It was too easy to forget I wasn't with my family here.

"What did you say to him? You spoke too fast for me to catch it." Before I could answer, the boy emerged triumphant from under one of the tables and a cheer went up among the few spectators. "You told him where to find that, didn't you?"

"I would never condone cheating," I deadpanned and Bella rolled her eyes.

"How did you even know where it was? I can't see a thing from here."

"I'm very observant," I replied.

"I'm observant," she answered. "You're like hyper-aware of everything. "

"Like I said, many talents."

Bella didn't want to let this go. "Why did you help him?"

Excellent question.

"I felt bad because he wasn't really involved. It's no fun to be on the sidelines all the time – watching. Sometimes you just...you just want to..."

"Live," Bella supplied. "Sometimes I just want to live my life instead of watching everyone else live theirs.

The climax of the games was about to start, a giant papier-mâché donkey was hoisted over the wooden platform and the children jostled each other for first turn at the baseball bat. We watched as they took blind swings at the piñata. Bella giggled in a childish way, so opposite to the serious expression and tone she'd been wearing all night. The game went on and the colourful donkey remained intact - it's unblemished painted stripes mocking the eager children.

As it became obvious the youngsters hadn't the strength to break the piñata, the game-leader began to look for wider participation. A couple of young teenage boys refused, clearly feeling they were too mature for such childish exploits. An older girl made a valiant attempt, but the baby on her hip prevented her from making any real impact. Then, the organiser's eyes honed in on me. I gulped, knowing he was about to get me involved.

He called and gestured in our direction and dozens of eyes and thoughts came my way.

"I think he wants you to try," Bella said.

"Why don't you do it?" I urged, anxious to get the limelight off me.

"No way." She shook her head resolutely. "I'd fall on my ass, of that I am certain."

The game's organiser grew impatient and starts making chicken noises in my direction! As if I was afraid. Against my better judgement, I stood up and made my over to the little podium. Drawing unnecessary attention to oneself was in direct contravention to our way of life, but I was already breaking rules tonight. What was one more?

A small cheer went up when I accepted the bat, and part of me thrilled at the positive attention. How nice it was, to not be looked at with fear and uncertainty, or worse misplaced desire. The wood was not smooth, but rough and worn under my skin and I thought briefly of the warm human hands that had played with it before me.

"I don't know you well enough to tie this blindfold on you," joked the game-master. His mind showed no conscious thought of the fact, but I could tell his instinct made him uncomfortable with being too close to me. "Why don't you do it, honey?" He beckoned Bella over.

Crimson-faced, Bella made her way over to me. She took careful, slow steps as if she was expecting the smooth floor to suddenly splinter and trip her. She took the red bandana with a shy smile and I obligingly bent down to allow her to tie it around my head. Her warm hands trembled as she raised them to my face. Her thumb was on my cheekbone, her index finger on my brow as she smoothed it over my eyes. Her fingers dallied in my hair and I smirked at her superfluous efforts to secure the blindfold as tight was possible.

I figured having my face covered put people at ease around me, as the children leaned closer in excitement.

I took a second to assess my surroundings – to make sure everyone was standing well back from me and to make sure I wasn't gripping the bat too tight.

Then, I took a single, solid swing of the bat and cracked it directly into the piñata.

There was a moment of silence (no-one expected me to get it first try) before the small crowd erupted in cheers. I pulled off the blindfold, and while I was aware of the candy raining down in multicoloured droplets and the children scrabbling around my feet, the bulk of my focus was solely on Bella. Her lips were a shiny smile and her hands clapped in glee. It was very lovely.

With a modest smile, I plucked a purple lollipop from the pile of candy and presented it to her. Bella accepted it with another of those girlish giggles and picked off the wrapper as I accepted my praise and thanks for the jolly people around us. I smiled back at them, as genuine as could be without exposing my teeth too much, and answered in a mixture of Spanish and English.

It seemed that they liked me, and that was very strange indeed.

I had been polite long enough and turned my attention back to Bella, as she concentrated on sucking on her lollipop.

I could hear her slurp and swallow and it was not at all as disgusting as I would have imagined. Quite the opposite, in fact. The way her throat contracted and her lips and tongue pursed and licked had I engrossed.

Bella caught me staring.

"What?" she asked, kind of coughing and laughing at the same time. I guess I took her by surprise and I prayed very hard she wouldn't choke because there was no way I could perform the Heimlich on her.

I played dumb and waited for her to catch her breath.

"Have I something on my face? Is that why you're staring?" she pressed.

"Your lips are turning purple," I informed her, congratulating myself on a quick save.

"Ew." Bella wrinkled her nose and rubbed her lips together. "As if I didn't look enough like a corpse already."

"Um...well." I cleared my throat. "Are you ready to go?"

"I guess." Bella looked more than a tad taken aback. "Your fanclub look about ready to pounce anyway," she muttered. I followed her line of sight to a couple of hair-flicking teenage girls that I hadn't even noticed, unable to fathom her dark expression. I decided an eye-roll would be an appropriate response and offered her my arm.

She slipped her arm through mine, her delicate hands curled around the crook of my elbow. _This is no big deal, _I told myself. _It's just like walking with Alice or Esme. _

Except it wasn't like that all. Their hands weren't warm. Their touch didn't make me _feel _things.

And they weren't breakable or biteable either.

"It's so weird," Bella commented. "I've lived here almost my whole life and I've never noticed anything like this before. It's like there's this whole other world that I don't even know about."

"You'd be surprised what exists just below the surface," I replied. "Most people just don't bother looking."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. That slightly ominous tone was not what I was going for, even if warning her to keep away was the right thing to do.

I watched her closely, trying to gauge her reaction but it was like she hadn't even heard me.

She was too busy gazing at a jewellery stand.

Humans. Always so easily distracted.

Bella made a beeline to the stall, dragging me along with her. I was surprised at her draw to the jewellery. She wore none and her clothes were plain. Her ears were not pierced and her wrists did not bear the marks of someone who words bracelets or watches regularly.

Her eyes were wide as she looked at the pieces on sale. The stock was quite crude, probably home-made, mainly consisting of dull silver and chunky turquoise. Bella was looking at it like it was the Hope Diamond.

"You didn't strike me as the jewellery type," I observed.

"My mom used to say I was like a magpie," she answered. "I've always been attracted to shiny things."

I may have spluttered at that revelation.

Bella continued, "I would play with her stuff all the time. I would hold her wedding ring for hours. I carried it in my pencil case for a whole semester once and she didn't even notice. I have a broach belonging to my grandmother that I always keep on my locker."

"You don't wear it?" I wondered.

"No." She refused to meet my eye. "I don't think it really suits me."

Self-consciously, she fidgeted at her clothes and it was very clear what she meant – that she didn't suit jewellery.

This beautiful girl thought she was plain.

She examined the black velvet trays very carefully, in what I presumed was an attempt to avoid any more questions from me. Bella looked at almost every piece, but I noticed her eyes continued to be drawn back to the same ring – a simple silver band with an oval topaz stone.

"You like that one best," I said.

Her cheeks were crimson when she nodded in reply.

"Try it on," I urged.

Bella fumbled to get it out of its slot, and then slipped it on. Her expression was wistful as she gazed down at her finger. Her nails were bitten to the quick and there was dirt lodged in the creases of her knuckles.

"It's so pretty," she murmured.

I had one hand in my pocket.

"Are there any others you like?" I asked. "The green perhaps..."

"No," she cut me off and immediately flushed red. "I like this one best. This is my favourite gemstone."

"Topaz. Really?" Most women liked diamonds and sapphires.

"It's pretty, ok?" Bella sounded defensive so I let it go. Far be it for me to cast judgement on a lady's style choices. Rosalie still harboured resentment since the Poodle Skirt Debacle of 1952.

"Let me get if for you," I offered, in that low persuasive voice I used to get out of school early.

"No...I couldn't," Bella began to stutter. "You can't."

"I want to," I insisted but she slid if off her finger and returned it to the imitation velvet tray.

"I won't accept it."

"Why not?" It was little more than a trinket, and she knew I could afford it.

"I don't like presents."

"Everyone likes presents."

"Not me." She sighed and closed her eyes longer than a blink. "They make me uncomfortable," Bella admitted. "They make me feel like I'm under a compliment to the giver. Like I owe some deep gratitude, and don't get me wrong I would be grateful, but I never show it right or give people the reaction they want and –"

"I wouldn't feel like you owe me anything," I interrupted. She had already given me more than she knew tonight.

"I know." She sounded resigned. "I do know that. But Edward, you have to understand that I'm not the kind of girl who has spontaneous nights out with strange beautiful boys. I'm the kind of girl who sits at home and reads about them. And this ring would haunt me and taunt me because I'm not going to have another night like this. And what if someday someone gives me another ring and all I can think of is how it's not as special as this one? I can't let that happen..." Bella trailed off, looking a little shocked at her outburst.

"It's ok." I tried to reassure her.

"You probably think I'm a fool now," she mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Bella, I understand. Honestly, I do. I'm not going to solder it to your finger."

Her expression relaxed a little, but her shoulders were tense and she wouldn't meet my eyes.

A quick check to make sure I would be un-noticed; I grabbed the ring faster than human sight could see and slipped it in my pocket. To ward off any guilt, I dropped a fifty onto the grimy ground and hoped the stallholder would be the one to find it.

We went back to the car in silence.

"You should probably take me home now," Bella said as I opened the door for her. "It's getting late. I don't want Renee to worry anymore."

"Whatever you want." I smiled at her and she just looked uneasy. "Tell me where to go."

And for the next little while, Bella's mumbled directions are all only conversation we have. The quiet of her mind seemed to be driving me mad. It wasn't peaceful. Unfair, is what it was. I had spent so many years hearing so many thoughts I never wanted to and the one voice I wanted to hear was silent to me.

"Do you see my dad around much?" she asked, surprising me. I paused, to recollect my interactions with the unassuming town sheriff.

"A little," I told her. "He came to school a few times to give talks on road safety and things like that."

No need to tell her they were wholly unnecessary for me and I skipped most, if not all, of them.

Bella watched, seemingly waiting for me to give her more information.

"My father knows him better than I do. He's a doctor at Forks General so they deal with a lot of the same cases. When my family and I first moved to town, there was a lot of talk. All those teenagers in one house and couples too, it makes people uncomfortable. They thought we were trouble. Chief Swan, your dad, he really went out on a limb to defend us and point out we had never got caught doing anything illegal and people were just being prejudiced."

Or smart. Whatever.

I had never dwelled much on the police chief's defence of us before. But I saw it now in a new light and there was something almost heart-warming about it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Bella was smiling now.

"Does he seem happy to you?" she asked.

"He doesn't seem unhappy," I offered. "He's alone a lot and like I said, I don't know him well but your dad seems pretty content."

"Content is good."

"Yes," I agreed. "It is."

We arrived at her house and I had given up on breathing. Her scent was too much and by rights, I should have wanted her out of the car as soon as possible.

Instead, I lingered, cutting the engine to show my intention.

The sight of her teeth on gnawing on her full bottom lip made me clench my fists.

"Thank you for tonight, Edward. "I can't tell you how good it was. I never get out like this and it was really..." She scrunched her eyes like someone in pain. "Nice. It was nice. That word doesn't do it justice but it's all I have."

"I get it," I told her. "I really enjoyed your spending time with you. I don't go out like this ever either."

"Weren't you just in Vegas?"

"Well, yes. But I wasn't there with you."

Bella unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face me and the car seemed to shrink all round us. She knelt on the seat, facing me and I looked past her to see the dusty footprints she was leaving on the door because he gaze was too much and not enough. She looked at me and looked at me and I felt utterly exposed.

"I understand, you know." Bella said, her heart pounding. "I get that this is difficult for you. I get that you are...different. So, thank you for not killing me."

My head snaps in her direction and I can feel intensity building up in me. Why couldn't she feel it too? I expected her to cower but she remained completely still but for the rise and fall of her breaths.

"Anyone would have stopped their car," I reply

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"Yes, it is," I insisted in a blind panic. I was meant to be good at this.

"No. I'm talking about the way you stopped it."

"Bella, you can't say things like that. It's too..."

"I won't tell anybody," she interrupted. "I promise. I know it's crazy. But I had to tell you. I had to make sure that you know I know and that I don't care. "

"You can't say that." My words were a growl and still she didn't falter.

"I am saying this. I owe it to myself. I don't care what you are. I don't care what you can be." She exhaled, shakily. "I just care that you were kind to me and made me smile like no-one else had."

"I could hurt you."

"You didn't. I trust..."

"Don't say that," I interrupted her. "Don't trust me."

Bella raised her finger to my icy lips. So close. One snap and I could taste her in my mouth. It was the most intimate thing I'd ever experienced.

"I trust myself, Edward Cullen. My instincts told me I'm safe with you. I'm not stupid. I wouldn't say this; do this, if I didn't know I could."

Her wrist brushed against my chin. Her heat was shocking. Her scent filled me up inside and it was all a kind of agony I never knew before.

"I'm not asking you for anything," she said. "I...I don't know what I'm doing." She laughed a little laugh that made me understand the term bittersweet and her hand lingered somewhere in front of me.

I knew, though. I knew she wanted me to kiss her. I knew it would be scary and wonderful and warm warm warm.

I knew, too, that it was dangerous and I wanted it but wanting things doesn't make the right. I didn't trust myself not to hurt her. I didn't trust myself to be able to stop.

Her hand was still so close to me so I raised my own at a carefully slow place. Placing it behind hers, I let her react to the bitter cold and the hard palm against the backs of her fingers. We both watched, fascinated at this small thing, as my thumb circled her calloused baby finger and the heel of my hand caressed her knuckles. My fingers closed around hers, covering them. Her thumb and index finger entwined around my pinkie.

I moved her hand back to my mouth, inhaling deeply the scent of her blood and the dust and tacos she ate for dinner. Her ulnar artery pulsed a beat deep into my bones and with a sigh, I pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand.

Bella shook a little when she finally drew away and the air all around us was utterly still. I held the hand that had held hers against my collar bone, enjoying the little warmth she had left behind.

"Seeya, Edward," she said in that quiet way and slipped out of the door as I said goodbye.

Stunned, I waited to make sure she got into the house safely. She looked back just as the front door closed and I could not fathom the look in her eyes. I should have started the car and drove home but I waited, all at sea, tracing Bella Swan's footprints around her small house.

She hesitated on the first step of the stairs, waiting as any teenager would, to see if her parent would confront her for her absence. When no such reprimand came, she slowly made her way up to what I presumed was her bedroom.

I couldn't know what she could hear, but the sound of her mother and step father drinking beer on the back porch was crystal clear to me. I briefly peeked into their hazy minds and it became obvious they hadn't even noticed Bella had been gone.

A lamp flickered on in an upstairs window and I listened to Bella pace around. I could still hear the thrum of her heartbeat.

More than anything, I wanted to go to her room and bring her back to me. I considered the risks and the reaction of my family and what could possibly happen next and I, who always believed himself to have the answers, had no idea what to.

So I picked up my phone and called Jasper.

He answered on the first ring.

"I want to ask you something." I said. There's no need for formalities with Jasper.

"Go ahead."

"When you first met Alice..." I began and my blade-sharp hearing noticed the catch in his breath. Jasper doesn't resent my 'gift' but over the years I learned that he occasionally begrudged my knowledge of his most private memories. It wasn't quite rational, but as Alice pointed out, love rarely was.

"You know that story almost as well as we do," Jasper interrupted. He was right. As one of their favourites, I had relived it so many times that I could recall the music on the radio in the diner and the polka dots on Alice's dress like it was a much-watched movie.

But the fear, the anticipation and the unsureness of it all was always just out of my realm of comprehension.

"How did you know?" I blurted, before I lost my nerve. "How did you know that she was the one for you?"

"Well, I didn't." He answered, much to my surprise. "Why do you ask?"

"What do you mean you didn't know?" I searched through my impressions of their memories, the smiles and the blinks and the quickness in their steps.

"I knew..." He sighed. "I knew that she wasn't _not _the one. There was something about her that made me want to follow her and get to know her better. After a century of manipulation and mind games and darkness, she was so light, so fresh and I couldn't imagine not having her by my side the next day and the next and the next."

That made sense to me in a way I never imagined a statement like that could and my thoughts drifted forward to the days to come.

I thanked him and started to say goodbye but Jasper continued to speak.

"Edward, I don't mean to pry but, frankly, Alice would kill me if I didn't. Have you...met someone?"

"Yes." My voice sounded so small.

"Someone like us? In_ Arizona?"_

"Human." I told him. "She's human."

"Shit."

"Indeed."

"Are you sure?" Jasper pressed. "Maybe you're confused. Maybe you just want to drink her?"

"I do want to..." I had to swallow down venom, "Drink from her. Badly. But I want to _not _drink from her more than that."

"Shit."

"You already said that."

"Sorry," he replied. "How did you meet her?"

"I, uh, found her on the side of the road. I almost hit her, actually. Her mind is silent, you see, so I didn't hear her and she didn't want to go home so I took her to get something to eat –"

"You were on a date," Jasper said, accusingly.

"I...I guess I was."

"Where are you now?"

"Parked outside her house. I can't seem to find the motivation to start the car." I admitted.

"Don't do anything rash, Edward," he warned and I could hear the derision in his voice. Like he didn't believe me. Like I was being the ridiculous, melodramatic teenager my family believed me to be.

"I'm not going to abduct her!" I snapped.

"Look, brother, whatever you do just come home ok? You have to come back. I won't tell anyone about it. Just come back."

I could hear something unspoken in his tone; permission I wasn't looking for.

"I will." I had promised a long time ago to never do that to Carlisle and Esme again. "I better go. Thank you for listening."

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. Immediately, it started to buzz but I ignored it.

I knew what I had to do. I couldn't let this pass me by. I couldn't say goodbye to Bella yet. Whether it was one more glimpse, one more word or one more night was irrelevant. I just needed _ more. _

I stepped out of the car, wondering whether to knock or simple go to her window.

Then, with a rattle of wind chimes, Bella's front door burst open and she dashed on to the porch. There were no raised voices or dramatic exits, just Bella with a duffel bag and some paperback books, her face red and her hair wild and she looked at me in way that made me ten feet tall.

"Edward!" She stage whispered. "Wait! "

Bella flew through her front yard, kicking up dust as she ran.

Instinctively, I went to meet her. I moved faster than I should but her eyes registered no surprise when I arrived by her side.

There was a thick cloud of dust behind me, particles landing on my skin and in my hair and in my lungs. It almost dulled the rich temptation of her blood.

But nothing could dull the shock of her beauty; her vibrant vulnerability almost struck me dumb.

"Will you take me with you?" Bella's voice was sweet and small and impossible to refuse. I would take her anywhere she wanted to go.

"Yes," I answered, taking her shaking arm and leading her to my car. There was a wide smile on my face and something like joy swelled inside me.

I tried to be reasonable. I told myself I was just a convenient drive. It was about leaving her scatty mother and spending time with her stable father. It was teenage impetuousness and rebellion and it wasn't about me one iota.

It didn't feel like that at all.

It felt like something new and wonderful and _more._

So I decided to drive her back to Forks. I would get to know her better and she could know me and see if I was worth knowing, if she would still be so carefree about I was.

I would tell her the truth and see how she reacted and mind and protect her with all my heart.

I would deliver safely her to her father's door and there, if she wanted me to, I would take her in my arms and kiss her.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, guys! I hope you liked it **


	3. Chapter 3

The rain fell, quietly and persistently, as I waited to see Bella again. Branches and leaves canopied me from getting soaked but some drops broke through, landing on my hair, my clothes and my skin. It washed away the dust that had accumulated from the days on the road. It was too damp here in Forks for dust to really gather. The dirt washed away here, leaving a slight grime behind.

Bella's house was just at the edge of a forest filled with tall trees, perfect for concealing my presence. The deepening dusk and the shadows provided shelter from prying eyes, as I waited for Chief Swan to fall asleep in front of the TV. Bella was in the shower; I could hear water bounce of skin and tiles and the steamy smell of her blood.

I tried very hard not to think about what she looked like.

There were more pressing matters to attend to.

The journey from Phoenix to Forks had been like a dream. Bella thrilled me and surprised me and scared me all at once. She pushed me for answers and pulled me into her world until I felt like I hardly even knew my own mind anymore. She had taken over, coloured every thought I had and ever action I took, and she knew all things that made me who I was.

We squinted at the Grand Canyon at midnight and skimmed stones across a lake in Oregon and she bought a slushee in every gas station I stopped at. She closed her eyes when my iPod played and waved her hands around when she insisted on connecting hers.

She knew me, now. She said she didn't care about the harsh edges and obtuse angles that showed the worst of me and I believed her. I felt like I hardly knew her at all. Like I could never know enough about her and years could pass and I would still be looking for more more more.

When I had pulled up outside the little white house where she spent the first months of her life, Forks was experiencing a rare moment of watery sunshine and my original plan to walk her to her father's door and kiss her goodbye had to be scrapped. It had occupied so many of my thoughts while she slept, while she sipped her drinks, while I questioned my sanity, on the drive here that to that my disappointment was almost crippling.

I was filled with sorrow that I couldn't kiss those warm lips. I berated myself for not seizing the opportunity one of the many times it had presented itself along the way. I had wanted to. Of course, I had wanted to.

But this was somewhat of a momentous occasion for me, the first time I would really kiss someone. The first time I had wanted to.

I was not driven by curiosity or coercion or unsustainable lust; just the fact that I could imagine nothing more right in this world than Bella Swan's lips against mine.

Her human frailty and her maddeningly fragrant blood would be a concern but I was confident I could overcome my most in-human urges. Her scent, like someone had set sugar and fire alight, was the most tempting thing I had ever experienced. My body had long lost the natural physical reactions of humans. When I hunted animals, I was driven by something instinctual; some raw, primal need for dominance and survival and sustenance. In the musty woods and wide plains, my body moved and stilled because it had to catch the prey. In my mouth, venom pooled and coated blade-sharp teeth to ensure my target was irreversibly immobilised; so I always won.

The effect of Bella's blood was different. It made all of me react: my mind and my instincts and my memories and my monster and the almost-abandoned place inside of my where my emotions reside.

It was all-consuming but it was also something I could rationalise, something I could try to control.

I'd always enjoyed at challenge.

After days with my throat on fire in a confined car, I could manage a little kiss in the fresh air.

The pipes stopped rattling and I listened as Bella twisted the shower knob, swished back the curtains and dried her wet skin with a rough cotton towel. Once I was sure I had heard the snap of elastic around her waist and a zip closing, I went to the tree beneath her bedroom, climbing it in one easy step.

The wooden framed window was ajar so I swung from the branch, feet first, and landed on a thread-bare carpet as light as a feather. She didn't react, clearly distracted by combing out her tangled hair and I took a moment to readjust to the heady, mouth-watering scent of her. It was different here in Forks, away from the sun and the dust. The near-perpetual rainfall made it seem cleaner and muddier all at once and I couldn't tell which, if either, I preferred.

She was wearing some faded plaid panama pants. They had been blue once, or green, but they were now various hues of dull grey. And with them the sweater I had lent her in Phoenix, still creased in the elbows and with a butter stain she's acquired in Nevada on the shoulder. It did something to me, her wearing it unwashed and still holding the scent of both of us, and I found myself holding my breath.

"Hello," I said, quietly, conscious of her dozing father downstairs.

Bella jumped. Her hairbrush clattered against her desk and we both froze, waiting to see if her father would stir. I could have disappeared out the window before he hit the bottom step of the stairs but I still prayed for him to remain asleep; I didn't want to go back to waiting in the shadows.

"It's ok," I told her, as she cast panicked looks toward her open bedroom door. "He's asleep."

"Oh." Her body relaxed but she shuffled over to shut the door anyway. "You're sure?"

"Of course," I said. "I can hear him snoring."

"Can you..." she hesitated, and that regret at not being able to hear her thoughts struck me all over again. " Can you tell what he's dreaming? Does it work that way?"

"It depends. People think, to an extent, while they're asleep. Their brains do work. But much of what happens is subconscious so it's not so easy to get a read on." I paused to concentrate on her sleeping father and just like earlier, the thoughts were very muted indeed. Bella had asked me to tell her what her father was thinking when we arrived here earlier today. I hadn't been able to get an exact content of his mind but the general tone was joyous.

"Is he happy, though?" Bella asked, meaning 'Is he happy I'm here?'

"I think there are ducks in his dream," I said. "All in a row and a tiny pair of red wellington boots in a fishing boat."

Bella broke into a wide smile. Her smiles were infectious and I grinned back at her for no good reason.

"How did you get in?" she asked, "Did you climb the drainpipe?"

"The tree, actually," I confessed. "Was that wrong? Should I have asked?"

"No," she paused, thoughtfully. "Definitely not wrong. Next time maybe try pegging a few stones first. What if I was getting changed?"

"I waited until you were dressed."

"How could you tell?" she asked and I pointed to my ear. Bella resumed brushing her hair; loose strands caught in the bristles and drifted to the floor. Her room was filled with childish drawings and trinkets. Her lone bag was dumped carelessly in the corner and the shelves were crammed with tattered books, movies and half-used art supplies. Freshly risen dust swirled in the air, evidence of a shut-tight space brought back to life. Someone, I didn't know if it was Bella or her father, had hastily attempted to wipe away the dust but behind the clutter and under the bed much still remained.

The bedding was new though, hastily bought by Chief Swan after a phone call from the road, and a soft hand-knitted blanket was draped over a rocking chair.

"Is is strange being here?" I asked, anxious for her to settle into this little town.

"A little." She put down the brush. "I've never really spent a lot of time here, not since I was a little kid. I don't know how to make it feel like home."

"You can't," I said. "That will happen naturally, if it's meant to. Do you miss your mother's house?"

"Not as much as I thought I would."

"No regrets, then?" My tone was light but I was on eggshells, still afraid she would change her mind.

"None."

"Good."

"Did you, um, forget something?" she asked. "I'm not complaining. I just didn't expect to see you so soon."

"No. I wanted to see you again." I told her, honestly. I also wanted to kiss her senseless, but I couldn't quite say that. "I was curious to see how you got on with your father."

"It was fine. A little awkward. He asked a lot of questions."

"About me?"

"Among other things."

"Did he ask how you knew me?"

"I told him we met on Facebook through some mutual Forks friends," she said, shrugging. "I don't think he believed me. I'm a terrible liar."

"I don't have a Facebook account."

"Me neither," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "It was the only thing I could think of at such short notice."

"Sure. I mean it's not like you had days in the car to come up with a plan," I teased.

"I had other things on my mind," she said, defensively. "Like finding out my new friend was a –"

"Don't say it." I cut her off.

"It's not a dirty word, Edward. I'm not...offended by it."

"I know," I said. "It's just a lot for me to deal with and besides, you never know who might overhear." I had hammered home the importance of secrecy as Bella questioned me on the drive here. It was genuinely a matter of life and death, after all, and it was a necessary habit to have for dealing with the real world. Bella shrank into herself. I knew she was easily embarrassed and I had a tendency to be abrupt. I had to get back on track with my original plan.

"May I?" I said, nodding towards her newly made bed.

"Be my guest."

Instead of sitting at the side, as I gathered she expected, I lay back on the bed with my arms behind my head and my ankles crossed.

"Comfy," I said, shifting the mattress a bit. Bella shook her head, like she was indulging a child, and that tell-tale blush crept up her neck.

"Make yourself at home, why don't you," she muttered as she fixed her wet hair into a thick braid.

"Oh I intend to," I replied, fixing my gaze on her. "I didn't bring you all the way to Forks and not plan on spending time with I got you here. If you want me, that is."

"Of course!" Bella was adorable when she was flustered. She gestured a lot and her heart rate would spike and her skin coloured. Her body told me all the things her mind did not. The bed dipped as she sat beside me, tucking her legs beneath her.

She was looking at me intently and I made myself go perfectly still, hoping a little that this first kiss might be initiated by her. After that initial time outside her mother's house, there had been plenty of occasions on the journey here when I felt like she was about to kiss me. She would stare at my mouth or my neck until her eyes glazed over, pupils darkened and pulse quickened and I would have to focus very carefully on driving.

I had always dismissed the way I look as nothing more than a honey trap for potential prey but in those moments, over these last few days, I felt a little differently.

"You look different," Bella said eventually. Almost hesitantly, her hand came towards me and her warm fingers skimmed along my cheek. "Your eyes are golden now and the dark circles are gone. You look more..."

"Alive?" I supplied.

"Vibrant. Healthy. A warmer version of you."

"I hunted before I came here," I explained, closing my eyes. As much as I appreciated Bella's open acceptance of what I was, the gory truth was still hard for me to admit to. It wasn't humans, I'd told her that straight away, not any more. But it was still blood and gristle and bone and the unforgettable silence of a heartbeat coming to a halt.

"Charlie cooked me a steak."

"It's not exactly the same thing."

"Isn't it?"

I kept my eyes closed, fighting back images of Bella eating a rare steak and the stain of blood on her lips.

"He enrolled me in Forks High, too," she continued. "I start on Monday. I'm kind of dreading it."

"I guess I better go to school on Monday, too," I said. "I haven't been in a while. See, I was gallivanting through the desert with a pretty hitch-hiker I found by the side of the road."

"Hey! I wasn't hitch-hiking when you found me. "

"Weren't you?"

"No. I was crossing the road and you nearly hit me with your car."

"Semantics," I said, picking some dirt out from under my nails, and Bella bashed me with a throw pillow. I rubbed my arm in mock pain and she folded her arms, glaring at me. She was almost as adorable when she was mad as flustered.

"So I was wondering, and you can totally say no if you want to, if you could drive me to school on Monday morning. I don't have a car yet and the first day in a new school is going to be hard enough without the added humiliation of being brought there in a police cruiser."

"I'd love to," I said. Sincerely, I would. It had to be infinitely preferable to my squabbling siblings. "You can see my real car; I have to give the Merc back to Carlisle. And I'll show you to the office and give you the grand tour of the buildings. I'll walk you to class and sit with you at lunch and I'll even transfer to the same classes, if that's not too oppressive."

"You can transfer this late in the year?"

"_I_ should be able to swing it."

"Maybe not all of my classes. You don't want to see me in gym. But I hope we have at least some of the same schedule."

"Me too." I meant it.

"Will you really sit with me at lunch? What about your family?"

"Well, it's the perfect chance for you to get to know them," I said and her face dropped. "Don't be scared. They won't hurt you and I've warned them already to be on their best behaviour. "

"They're going to think I'm pathetic," she said, mournfully.

"Not around me they won't."

"I'm serious, Edward. What if they hate me? What if everyone in the school hates me?"

"They won't, Bella. My family are already fascinated and the kids in school couldn't find you anything but lovely. "My words did little to lighten her sorrowful expression. "You'll make new friends easily. And in the mean time, you've got me. The seat beside me is free in almost every class I take."

"So we can, like, share books and swap homework?"

"Exactly."

"And whisper when the teacher's back is turned?"

"Absolutely."

"Can we pass notes in study hall?" Bella looked at me from beneath her lashes, eyes sparkling with warmth and hope, and the very idea of swapping notes in school with her made me happier than I ever imagined it could. I spied some pens and paper sticking out of an open dresser drawer, so I grabbed them and was back on the bed before she could blink.

"My Little Pony," I commented. "Very cute."

"That's at least ten years old." Bella wrinkled her nose and I started to scribble. "I don't think my dad ever threw anything of mine away."

I balanced the notepad on my knee, and despite Bella's best efforts, I shielded the page and wrote extra fast so she couldn't see what I was doing.

_Want to cut class and listen to music in my car?_

_Mr. Green is planning a pop quiz tomorrow. Study Chapter Four._

_Can I drive you home?_

_Do you want to study together after school?_

_Did you like that book I gave you?_

_Will you come for a walk with me Saturday morning?_

_I have to leave early. Jasper and I are going hunting. Alice will drive you home, if you don't want to walk._

_There's a leaf in your ponytail. Sorry about that._

_Wait for me after class, there's something I want to show you._

_Will you wear that blue shirt on our date tonight? That colour looks wonderful on you._

_Are you counting the minutes until we're alone again? I am._

"What is this?" Bella asked when I gave it to her to read.

"I'm practising the notes I'll want to write to you."

"Oh," she replied, her pink cheeks lifting into a smile. She took the pen from me and I watched as she wrote in slow deliberate strokes, making a point to hide the purple-margined page from me.

_If I get detention over you, there'll be BIG trouble. _

"I never get caught," I told her. "No need to worry."

She took the notebook from me and I waited patiently while she hunched over, writing messy paragraphs while her hair fell in her face.

_I'm worried I won't know how to act around you when we're around other people. On the drive here, it was like being in a bubble. All those things you told me ...your family and your mind reading and all the years you've lived...I can't stop thinking about how insignificant the stuff I told you in return is. How can I watch you pretend to eat pizza in a stinky cafeteria, when I know you'd rather be running in the wild, or worse, drinking the blood some football player? (This is just a guess, btw, I don't think they would taste very good. Too sweaty. Too much protein.)_

_What about history class? If no-one knows the answer, should I ask you? Do you tell the teachers when they're wrong?_

_How can you stand the noise when all those people are thinking and talking at once? How will I stand it, if it makes you uncomfortable? What about the secrecy you told me was so important? What if I slip up and say something I shouldn't? How do they not see what I see when I look at you? You're so special. How do they ever think that you are ordinary?_

_What If I say something dumb and someone overhears me? I don't want to make people suspicious of you. I don't want you to get in trouble with those Voltori (sp?) guys you told me about. What if those other vampires, the ones that knew your sister, come back? What should I do?_

_I don't know what to say, or how to say it, when it's not just me and you. When we're alone, it's like the whole world disappears. You make me feel alive. You know this already, but you just have to give me one of those crooked smiles and my heart pounds and my skin heats and breathing gets embarrassingly loud. _

_You make me feel special and it's like I could be with you forever and it would never be enough time but I'm not special, not really, and I'm so worried that when there are other people and it's not just you and me that you'll see how true that really is._

Unsettling as they were, that out-pouring of ink and words was a gift, the closest glimpse I would get to the inner-workings of Bella's amazing, complicated mind. I read them in mere seconds but I waited for a long quiet moment after while she picked at a loose thread on her new bedding.

I abandoned the pen and took her warm hand in mine.

"I don't know how it's going to be either," I said. "I've never done anything like this before. I've never sat in the cafeteria with anyone but my family. But, Bella, I know you're smart and despite what you think, you're extremely special. You're an extraordinary young woman and even if you were the plainest creature on earth, you'd still be special to me. This is going to be difficult, and honestly, it's probably going to be a little weird. But don't worry about the little things. We'll figure this out together, okay?"

"Okay. "She lifted her head and gave me a small, hopeful smile. "Maybe you should have written that down. It might come in handy for my next freak out."

"There's no guide book for this _thing _we have, Bella. If you feel ...unsure about things just talk to me, instead."

"Fine." She took the notebook from me again. "I just have to do this one thing first."

She printed words on the page and handed it back to me.

_PS. The answer to all this questions is most definitely __YES_

My heart, my cold silent heart, soared with a kind of nervous joy I hadn't thought possible for me.

"I have something for you," I blurted out, before I lost my nerve again. The topaz ring had been in my front pocket ever since Arizona. In those hot, endless hours with Bella in my passenger seat, I had twisted it between my thumb and index fingers, careful not to dent the pliable silver, to distract myself from the rush of her blood through her veins.

Now it seemed very important to give it to her.

It had to be more than a lifeless reminder on a shelf. It wasn't a memory of this unpredictable, beautiful girl who'd barged into my boring life. It belonged to her, to the things that we shared. It meant something for now, something for the future and something we hadn't yet said.

I slipped it from my pocket and dropped into her waiting hands. Let her decide what finger to put it on.

"This is the ring I admired!" she said. "How did you buy this without me noticing?"

"I didn't exactly buy it," I admitted, trying very hard to sound nonchalant.

"You stole it?" Bella sounded thoroughly scandalised, as her wide eyes examined the rustic looking ring.

"Of all the crimes I've committed, a little shoplifting is very minor. Besides, I made sure to leave some money for the seller."

"Don't do that, Edward," she admonished. "This is a nice thing. Don't bring all that darkness into it."

"Do you still like it?" I asked, of the ring and maybe of me.

"Are you kidding me? I love it. Thank you so much." She slipped it on her dainty middle finger and it looked just perfect.

"You're more than welcome," I said, already thinking of other rings and other fingers. "It looks good on you."

At a human pace, I moved and sat right beside Bella on her bed. My legs stretched out on faded carpet; my feet rising dust when they hit the ground. Gently, I took her hands in mine again. I felt the warmth penetrate my cold skin, the fragility of her bones and the rush of blood through her veins. Her pulse throbbed at her wrist, faster by the second. I stroked the bruise-blue vein with the tip of my thumb, reminding myself of how human she was, how delicate. I swallowed down venom, licking it away from my lips and Bella sucked in a sharp breath.

"Do you remember what we talked about in the car?" I asked.

Bella nodded, slowly, and I wondered if what we had discussed was too much for her young, human brain to process. Her thoughts were silent to me so I couldn't know how she really felt. Relying on her words and physical reactions to indicate her feelings posed somewhat of a challenge. It didn't help that everything about her was so...distracting. How was I supposed to have a serious, mature conversation when her heart was pounding and an inviting pink blush was creeping up from beneath the collar of her shirt?

"Specifically," I continued, "What I told you about the physical effect the scent of your blood has on me. The venom we produce and the instinctual urge to..."

"Bite?" she offered.

"I was going to say act on that instinct, but bite works too." I gave her a half-smile, trying to ease the tension a little. It had been heavy, on and off, since Phoenix and now in this musty little bedroom it was about to break. "I believe that these are things I can overcome. I want, I fervently hope that I won't do anything to hurt you but you need to understand, to remember, my limitations and that it's all so new and different and..."

"Edward," she said, cutting my off. Her hands were on mine now, softly squeezing my sharp knuckles and icy skin. "You're rambling."

"Sorry," I said, gulping down venom to regain some composure. "Sorry. I just _need _you to understand how important, how potentially dangerous, this is. "

"I do," she replied, leaning in towards me. " I've been thinking about it all the time and I promise not do anything to...push you. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me."

"I'm not," I protested and Bella shot me a disbelieving look. "I mean, yes, it can be difficult. Because of what I am. But I enjoy your company, I like being with you, so much that the other stuff is not intolerable."

"Well, that's nice. I very much like spending time with you,too."

"I'm not bringing all this up to be morbid," I tell her. "I've been on this earth for a long time and I've never met anyone like you. I've met thousands of girls and none of them hold a candle to you, Bella. You're beautiful and clever and you surprise me and challenge me. You make me feel things I never thought possible and I would like..."

"Yes?"

"I would like..."

"Edward," she said my name and licked her lips and instinct, some deep essential part of who I am, pushed me towards her until my face was mere centimetres from hers. "Kiss me. Please."

I inched closer. Her scent and warmth of her breath flooded my sense and a war raged inside of me. The drive to bite her, to drink that intoxicating blood, was immeasurably strong but the need to touch and feel was stronger.

She exhaled and I tasted it in my throat.

"I've never..." My voice was ragged.

"Me neither."

"I need to go slow. I need you to be still. I need..."

Bella closed the gap between us. I could feel the tip of her nose and the tiny, fine hairs on her cheek. I could feel the rush of blood beneath her translucent skin. She froze, her face against mine, and her breath came in pants as she waited for me to keep my promise.

I moved my mouth to hers, barely brushing her waiting lips. The heat was a shock. My throat tightened and my mouth burned. I froze, too, fighting every dangerous impulse as my knuckles clenched bone-white beneath Bella's palms.

Her eyes were closed; a crazy sign of faith and when she sighed against my stony lips it felt like surrender. Bella trusted me not to hurt her. How could I possibly betray that?

So, I kissed her.

It was the scariest, most wonderful experience of my entire existence. Her mouth was warm, pliant; it begged for more pressure, more movement. Her lips trembled and her heartbeat was so loud it was like a moth's wings fluttering against my eardrum. Her taste, her smell, the feel of her skin and sheer emotion in her littlest actions became everything.

True to her word, Bella was still. Patiently, she let me adjust to this intense new sensation, holding my hands in hers like she could somehow control me that way. Internally, I was coiled tight like a spring but I had gained enough control to calm the external signs. When my body finally relaxed, when the tension left my shoulders and my fists unclenched, Bella relaxed too.

She loosened her grip on my hands and returned my kiss in tiny, hesitant movements. She shifted so her body was closer to mine, kneeling up on the bed while I kept my feet firmly planted on the ground. The same position we had been in outside her house in Phoenix, when simply touching her hand had seemed like an instrument of torment.

Slowly, she skimmed her hand along my arm, my shoulder until it came to rest at the back of neck. The fingers of her other hand entwined with mine and I found my other hand at the slight curve in her slim waist. I couldn't trust that I wouldn't leave purple fingerprints on her flesh, so I clutched at the fabric of her (my) sweatshirt and felt it stretch and tear beneath my fingers.

She kissed me urgently, frantically, like something was about to tear us apart. I responded as best I could, constantly struggling to keep my strength and my vampire-instinct in check. It was tough, also, to keep my other instincts in check. Kissing Bella felt more than natural.

When I run I push myself to go further and faster, not because I can, but because my body tells me I _should. _Kissing felt the same. As if the only right thing to do was keep going and going.

It was impossibly warm, unimaginably inviting and all I wanted to do was taste and consume and explore. I wanted to know everything, to feel everything and from the open, wet way Bella pressed her lips to mine, I could tell she felt the same.

Her breathing grew shallow and erratic. Her body melted against mine, every soft curve of her fitted against me perfectly. I knew I had to call a halt to this before we got carried away. I couldn't allow the venom pooling in my mouth near her.

So with deep regret, I tore my lips away. She needed to breathe. I needed to regain control of my desire.

"Edward," she moaned, as heavy breaths left her swollen mouth and at breakneck speed, I landed my mouth at her throat. My nose skimmed along her jaw line and my cool breath blew across her overheated skin. I kissed my way along her delicate collarbone and the dip in the hollow of her throat. Bella became very still again, but for the pressure of our entwined fingers, as I ran my lips up and down the side of her neck.

She exhaled in a stirring way when my mouth met the smooth, sensitive skin just behind her ear and I breathed deeply. The scent of her blood, her body, was addicting; the sweetest thing in the whole world. It brought me such pleasure and it caused me so much pain, as my throat ached to drink.

With deliberate caution, I dragged my venom-coated lips back down along her throat until they came to rest on her pulse.

Her artery throbbed beneath my lips. I could taste her skin, all soap and sweat, and almost taste her rich, fragrant blood. It rushed through her veins, under her paper-thin skin, and, after carefully concealing my teeth, I pressed the tip of my tongue on the spot where it beat the strongest.

I held it there, overwhelmed by the closeness, and Bella squeezed my hand and played with my hair. Our breathing came in a matching rhythm. Her heartbeat found a steady pace. I could have bit down and let her thick sweet blood flood my waiting mouth.

How I badly I wished to taste her. How I wished my kind could be like the fictional depictions where we could bite drink to our hearts content without that pesky venom making things more complicated.

Bella tenderly cupped my cheek, while I went through the agony and the joy of having my lips at her throat.

I held them here as long as I could. When I could take no more, I went to her open window leaving her stunned while I gulped in great mouthfuls of the rain-soaked air. The silence hung heavily all around us as she scrambled back against her headboard, waiting for me. I rejoined her when I could, pulling her against my chest so her rose-pink cheek could rest where my heart should beat.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked and I felt her shake her head. "Did I scare you, then?"

"No," she said and her tone make me think she hardly believed that herself. "I probably should be scared, right? I should be terrified that you'll hurt me...physically, emotionally, whatever. But I'm not. I'm not scared at all. When I'm with you, it's so amazing that that's all I can focus on."

Bella twisted her head to look at me, trying to gauge my reaction.

"Yes," I agreed. "You probably should be scared. But I can't tell you how much it I appreciate that you are not." I watched her settle herself back against me. "Bella, I promise won't ever intentionally do anything to hurt you. But if you ever feel uncomfortable or sore or anything you have to tell me. I won't know. You have to tell me."

"I will," she said. "I promise I will."

"So..." I ventured, after a few seconds of listening to her heartbeat and the rain on the roof. "Was _that _ok? I don't exactly know what I'm doing there, either. You can tell me if it's not right."

"You mean the most wonderful, fantastic, exhilarating, romantic moment of my life? Are you kidding me? As first kisses go, it was pretty much perfect."

Inside, I swelled with pride and joy. "First of many, " I murmured, pressing a feather-light kiss on the top of her head.

"I tried to my best to not move," Bella said, making a figure of eight motion on my torso with her index finger. "I stayed as still as I could, as long as I could."

"I know," I told her, hearing the anxiety in her voice. "You were...are...perfect. Don't worry. We're just figuring this out together, remember?"

I felt her body relax at my words and she snuggled closer, just letting me hold her. I started to play with the tip of her braid, brushing the damp strands against the back of my hand. It was so quiet, so peaceful, so _right. _We lay there for I don't know how long. It wasn't important to check or listen for the tick tock of my watch.

Bella's eyelids started to droop and her breathing became more and more regular. I had seen fall asleep several times on the drive home. I had never much of an opportunity to see a sleeping person and it had been strange and fascinating. She talked in her sleep and I would hang on every word. Here in her bed, with her plaid pajamas and fresh cotton sheets, if all felt far more intimate. I did not sleep. I felt like an intruder.

I shifted, trying to determine the best way to move without disturbing her, and Bella's eyes flew open. She gripped my shirt and her arm stretched out across my stomach.

"Don't go," she croaked. "Please, just stay a while longer."

I thought of my bedless bedroom in the cold glass house. My family would be waiting with their questions and teasing and silent judgements. I settled back down on the bed, taking the blanket from the chair to pull over her.

"I'll stay," I promised, wrapping my arms around her.

I'd stay forever.

* * *

**That's all folks! I hope you enjoyed the romance. I really enjoyed writing this one, it reminded me of my olden fic days. Thanks again for reading and reviewing and generally being awesome. Thanks to averysubtle gift who allowed me the opportunity to write this and was amazingly sweet and patient about it.**


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